Business Pea:A hero with a briefcase
by Thatannoyinguy
Summary: Business Pea...has a boring life, I mean, come on! Instead of fighting the war with the other plants, he's stuck in the basement filing taxes. But when things take a turn for the worse, will he turn out to be the hero... or a zero
1. Chapter 1:A beginning

Welp, here I am, stuck in my own little problem. Stuck…that's all I am these days…it would be nice to finally be free'd. But I got myself in this mess, so I guess I gotta get myself out. I mean, I shoot scrunched up paper that to my calculations…should do 2 damage. So defeating, like 2,000 zombies should be easy right. HAHAHA, oooh sarcasm. By now you must be pretty confused, amirite?. I guess I should catch you up. Let me just hit the time travel button. Ready?. Welp, here we gooooooooooo!.

March 19 2003:A regular house on a not so regular street

I woke up, ready for another miserable day. I got out of bed, had my cereal {Captain Fertilizer. Its my favourite} and walked to my bathroom to freshen myself up. I looked in the mirror and I saw what I saw everday. A sad, 23 year old peashooter with messy black hair and saggy eyes. With a sigh, I brushed my teeth, put on a tie and went to the door. There, waiting for me was my best friend Magic Pea. Magic Pea was an unusual plant. He had dark but somehow pale skin, always wore a purple cloak and had yellow, glowing eyes that seemed to stare into your soul. But still, he's been my best friend for my entire life, so I guess I'm stuck with him and he's stuck with me, not that I'm complaining. "Are you ready to go?" he asked me "As ready as yesterday". He chuckled "Well, we're already running late so just grab onto my cloak and I'll use a teleporting spell". I grabbed on and he said all his magic mumbo jumbo. Soon enough we were in front of the plant base. Sigh…here we go again.

 **Authors note: Hello, boys and gals and welcome, to my wonderland!. Ok in all honesty, this isn't really a wonderland. Its just some of the stuff that comes out of my deep, dark, mind. Obviously, this story is about my fan made character but don't worry, there'll be some familiar faces in there as well!. Not much else to say. So I guess thanks for the read! And I'll see you! , my annoying little tricksters, in the next chapter.**

 **TOODLE LOO!**


	2. Chapter 2:Explanation

I'm guessing by now you're like "What base? Why is he so miserable?" I get it, my story can get confusing at times, so I guess I owe you an explanation. The plant base is where me, and the rest of our platoon call our headquarters. This specific base was called Base #69. Since we were the 69th platoon, we had the 69th base. The name is already embarrassing enough, it doesn't help that all that's inside is a couch, 15 and a half canned tomatoes (But whose counting?) and a 50 year old TV. This place is where the platoon makes plans to attack the opposing zombie base right across from us, zombie base #69…except for me.

Here's another catch. I don't actually fight in the war. Sure I go to the base every day and help the team out but... I don't exactly get any action. My job is to go into the basement and file papers, do taxes, stuff like that. I'm the guy everyone depends on to make sure we still have the right to live in our base

So that's why I'm in such a crummy mood. Its also why I have confidence issues. Yes, I have confidence issues. You're also one of the only people I told that, so that's how much you mean to me. So there's your explanation. Can we please just move on now?... Please?

 **Authors note: Hello once again!. Sorry if I haven't updated this story in a long time. I forgot to say last time that I was going to go for a milestone of 10 views before the next chapter (soz).I decided to make this chapter just to lead you guys straight with the story . Not much else to say, sorry this chapter was so short, it was just supposed to be a quick explanation so I promise that next time the chapter will be longer. Also I do want to start going for view milestones just for fun and so that me, the author, and you, the reader, can interact with each other just that little bit more. So lets go for 20 views before the next chapter. Thanks for reading and I'll see you, my cheeky little tricksters in the next chapter. Buh Bye!**


	3. Chapter 3: Meet the squad

and I walk into the base. As usual, the team are all there waiting for us (We're ALWAYS late). "'Bout time!' says Jayden. Jayden is a Commando corn. He's also the leader of our team. He keeps us all in check an is pretty bossy, which should explain to you why he's so miffed about us being late. "Sorry, Jay" says "That's sorry, Jay, sir to you!" corrects Jay. "Don't listen to him" says Nathan "He's got dicks for brains anyway". Nathan is a party citron. He's usually pretty chilled, its only in party mode when he goes crazy. "What did I say about testing my patience, Nathan?" growls Jay through gritted teeth "Yeah, that its hilarious" Nathan says with a chuckle "Why you little-" Jay manages to say before getting cut off "Guys, guys! I'm trying to read" says Kate, finally looking up from her magic book. Kate is a druid rose. She used to live in a swamp before she came here. Back then she was royalty, so she's still getting used to the switch. "Yeah she's right guys, how am I supposed to beat my Leafa 16 score with that ruckus!" yells Rihanna, still looking at the computer screen. Rihanna is a zen cactus. She doesn't talk much, but that's because she's got her nose stuck in the computer most of the time. I went to sit down and watch Rihanna play when asked "Where are the others?". Nathan said they went to get chomp food when they walked in.

"Speak of the devil!" says Nathan. "Haha" says Jess, sarcastically. Then from behind Jess's back a strange creature comes bounding at me. "AAAAHHH" I scream right before I'm tackled to the ground. Its ok I'm not getting attacked, its just our chomp thing, Freak. Freak was abandoned as a young chompup by his mother. He was so ugly and dirty that no one wanted him, except for us. "Hey boy!" I say as he playfully noms on my leaves. "He must be really excited to see you!" says Jess, I nervously laugh. I guess by now you want an explanation on Jess as well. Jess is a shadow flower. She usually sneaks around at night trying to find enemy intel. Besides being sneaky, she has a bright and bubbly attitude and every time she laughs, no matter what situation, it'll make you laugh as well. We all ended up sitting on the couch eating some mouldy potato free chips and laughing at cheesy romance movies. Everything was fine until our H.E.L.P.E.R (Helpful Escapist Lucky Power-filled Entertainer Robot), Bob, came rolling in. Bob is pretty cool and he makes the best Chicken nuggets you've ever had but when he malfunctions…he's just annoying. "Guys, it appears a group of z..zo..zom-" "Just spit it out man!" shout Jay "A group of zombies have arrived to try and terminate us". "Oh…shit" says Nathan

 **Authors note: Hey guys! Its me yet again back with another chapter to, hopefully, blow your socks off!. Fun Fact: this is by far the longest chapter in this story, before it was chapter 1 but this one totally blew it out of the park. I have used characters from the newest update because A: For plot purposes and B: Cause they're badass. Sorry for not uploading in a while. I was waiting to get 20 views and we finally made it! (Someone get the confetti). Not much else to say but I will be opening my profile soon so you can private message me (Probably by chapter 5) and don't forget, any fan-made character requests I will be making official characters in the story. That's it for now so I'll see you, my tricksy little tricksters in the next chapter, Buh Bye!**


	4. Chapter 4:Battle stations!

"Alright guys, you know the drill!" yelled Jay "Sure do!" said Rihanna, as she hitched a ride on her artichoke drone to the nearest roof. Jess and Nathan stay behind at the base for support. Jay and are about to leave to their positions when I ask them "Guys, can I come with you this time?". They both look at each other, as if they don't know what to tell me what they tell me every day "B…You know you're not strong enough" Jay says "Yeah man…You know what your job is" says . I knew alright, I don't even know why I was trying "Yeah yeah, I know" I reply, half heartedly. "Its ok man! Remember what I said about the most important job on the team?" . Its true, he does say that when I'm feeling down in the dumps, but for some reason, even though he's my best friend, I don't believe him.

With a sigh, I walk to the elevator that leads me down to my basement office. The only good thing about this job is that Freak gets to stay with me. "You wouldn't leave me, would you boy?" I ask him. He stares up at me for a few seconds, then lies on his back expecting me to scratch his stem. I give him a good scratch and then login to my laptop. I then launch into my normal routine, which means my first instinct is to check MyGarden, the plant social media website. "Lets see what the team has uploaded recently" I say to myself. The next thing I saw was so profound, so disgusting, so frustrating that I have to wait another chapter to say it.

 **Authors note: I'm back! Sorry for the cliffhanger at the end. Don't worry though! Because there will be another chapter out later because…guess what? WE HIT TWENTY VIEWS IN ONE DAY!. That means twice the read for you…and twice the work for me (Who cares? I enjoy it). This also mean I will be making my profile so you guys can check that out as well. So stay tuned for the next chapter and I'll see you, my tricky little tricksters, in the next one! Buh-Bye!**


	5. Chapter 5: Betrayal

Betrayal. That is the only word that could explain what I found on MyGarden that day. Hundreds of pictures and posts on the teams profiles making fun of how weak I was. Pictures of Nathan and Jay coming down to the basement when I thought they were out with captions like lol what a nerd or sucks to be you! Pictures of my Leafa16 score taken by Rihanna saying things like Can't even get to double digits or Bruhhh. But the worst one was from Jess and , MY OWN BEST FRIEND. They had pictures of me in the training area saying Can't even take down a practice dummy and Only 109 shots! New record! There weren't any from Freak but, y'know, he's a pet.

That's when I realised that all that stuff about being the most important person on the team was a sham. I bet the only reason they kept me around was to make fun of me. They weren't my "friends" they just thought I was a good comic relief. That's when I got my stupid, idiotic, terrible idea. I remembered the legend about the golden plant food and that whoever found it was the chosen one. You know, all that cliché garbage. I decided I was going to prove to them that I wasn't just a comic relief and that I could be more. A captain, a leader or perhaps…even…a hero! I packed all the stuff I would need into a picnic blanket that I would hang off the end of a stick and gave a goodbye hug to Freak "I'll be back soon, I promise" I say to him. He whimpers. With a heavy sigh, I take the elevator back up and hear the base door open and the team walk through. Boy, do they have some explaining to do.

 **Authors note: Welcome back! This is the second chapter for the day for most people. This is where stuff gets serious and the real adventure begins. I would really appreciate a review or two because I sadly have not got any yet. And don't forget to check out my profile that I set up and be free to PM me or ask me questions in your reviews about anything and I will answer them on the profile Q A section. Nothing else to say so I'll see you, my tricky little tricksters in the next chapter! Buh-Bye!**


	6. Chapter 6: With friends like these

I hide behind a wall and listen to the group talk "Did you see the way I took down that Captain Deadbeard?" asks Nathan "Yeah, you were pretty cool out there" says Rihanna. They all walk in silence for a bit until Jay speaks up "Hey, where'd B go?" Nathan smirks "Probably filing out taxes in the basement or something" They all laugh. "And M, good thinking with that whole most important person on the team lie" says Jay "I know, right? You should have seen the look on his face! He's so gullible". They laugh again.

I wipe the tears coming from my eyes and step out from behind the wall. They stare at me for a while until M speaks up "Hey, bud!" He says it in a way as if he was my friend. Well, not anymore "I don't want to hear your excuses" I say, my voice cracking in the middle. "Heh…excuses for what?" says Rihanna, like I didn't hear what they said. "I heard everything AND saw your MyGarden posts" I say, sounding angrier than I anticipated. They look at each other curiously "We were just kidding around!" says Nathan "Yeah, you know us, big jokesters!" Jay says, playing along. They're trying to fool me, like they have been all this time. "You think I'm not strong? That I'm a big nerd?" I say, getting angrier and angrier "B, we don't think that, we promise!" says Jess. I look at her for a bit, the sound of innocence in her voice makes me almost believe her. I shake my head and get back on track "YOU THINK I'M WEAK? I'LL SHOW YOU! I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!" I yell. I push them all out the way and walk out the base "B, wait!" yells Jess. But it's too late, by the time she calls out, I'm already in the middle of the backyard battleground. I stop to catch my breath under a nearby tree and see the sun set and the sky go dark. I lie down under the tree…and brave the night.

 **Authors note: I'm back! Things are really starting to heat up now. We also hit half a hundred views, wow! I wanna thank all of you for your continued support to the story. Again, feel free to PM me with any suggestions for the story. Nothing else to say so I'll see you, my tricky little tricksters, in the next chapter, Buh-Bye!**


	7. Chapter 7: New friend

It's cold, my roots hurt and this bird won't stop tweeting in my ear. It's impossible to get some sleep out here. But I don't care. I'm just worried about my actual plan. I mean, I brought no food, no water and have nothing to help me survive, let alone get a legendary bag of plant food. I start my journey in the morning, no looking at myself in the mirror, no captain fertilizer, no knocking at my door. Just me, myself and I. I wander into the backyard battleground. Groups of weeds and browncoats slaughter each other around me, but I don't care. Hey, it's just another day in war, what do you expect? I stop for a break near the flag of power. "Phew, I'm really out of shape" I say as I pour water all over my face. I look around and see a weed, sitting all by itself. It looks…sad almost. I stare at it for a minute until it sees me. I quickly look away but then it starts walking towards me. To this day I still don't know why it came to me. "Hello" it said."Uhhh, hi" I reply. We smile at each other awkwardly for a moment until I ask "W…what's your name?" "Olivia" she says. She had a very complexing voice, soft but rough. "Do you want to sit down?" I ask "Sure". Then she its, and we have a regular conversation, ignoring the hundreds of dead bodies around us. It was weird, for sure but it was also, somehow, the best feeling ever. Knowing I had someone in my life I could actually trust. She may be a total stranger but hey, its I'm a stranger to her as well, so she finds it just as weird as I do. Is that creepy, I don't know, lets just say I was glad to have her by my side.

A couple of minutes in I notice a lot of weeds starting to run from the battlefield. "What's going on?" asks Olivia "I…I'm not sure" I answer. I look around and notice something is definitely not right. That's when it happens. You don't see it at first, but you sure as fuck hear it. That's when we see…the bane of our existence. Gargantuar, and they are everywhere. Bodies go flying, plants get stomped on and zombies triumph. Me and Olivia make a run for it "Where are we gonna go?!" she asks "I don't know! Away from that thing!" I say, pointing to the Gargantuar. That's when I see the team running out of the base, and suddenly I'm more determined to find a place to hide. "Hey, have you found anything yet?" I ask Olivia. No answer. "Uhhh…Olivia?" I turn to her direction and see what she's seeing. A Gargantuar, looming over us. We stand still for a minute until I see the open sewer right next to us. What a lucky break! I quickly grab Olivia's leaf and make a bee line for the sewer. The Gargantuar runs after us, raising his telephone pole. "When I say 3, jump! Ok?" I say to Olivia. She nods. We get closer "1…2…3!" We both jump right into the sewer opening, just missing the mighty power of the telephone pole. "We're alive!" she yells, and its true. We're alive cold ,shocked and scared, but alive.

 **Authors note: Hey peoples! I'm back! This chapter is solely based upon introducing this new character, cause hey, B needs a friend, doesn't he? Good news, we're almost at a hundred views! I'll probably upload a chapter to celebrate. Come on guys, I know we can do this! Not much else to say so I'll see you, my tricksters, in the next chapter, Buh-Bye!**


	8. Chapter 8: A weed's life

Olivia and I start walking along the muck covered corridors of the sewer. "So…can you finish that story you were telling me earlier?" I ask her.

"What story?" she asks

"You know…how you ended up here in the first place?" She stares at me for a second, as if trying to find her train of thought. "Oh, that story" she says.

"Yeah, that one, can you finish it off?" I ask.

"I don't know…" she says, but it sounds a lot like _"it's a long story."_

"Please?" I say, begging and pulling on some puppy dog eyes, just for the added cuteness. Olivia giggles. "Fine, if you're so desperate"

"Yes, yes I am." She laughs and puts on a serious face "It all started when I was in high school, my parents always had to work early so I was always home alone before school." I stare at her, waiting for the rest of the story.

"I did what I always did on a school day, get dressed, make breakfast, etc." She stopped to wipe some sort of substance off her arm. "I was always bullied at school, being the only weed and all. They would say things like _where's the weed remover_ or _backyard pest!_ "

"Losers…" I say. She smiles faintly before continuing the story.

"It was going like any other day, I got bullied, teachers teased me, all that kind of stuff, but when I got home…" she paused, finding it uncomfortable to say the next part "What happened when you got home?"

"My parents…they were…dead" she says, starting to cry. I put my arm around her for comfort. "Killed by zomboss's soldiers, I could tell cause they had burned their symbol into my parents' back" she explains, crying more and more. "That's horrible, Olivia" I said. She kept on crying "If only I got there earlier, maybe I could've saved them"

"You can't blame yourself for what happened, there's nothing you could've done, it's in the past now and you need to let it go." She wipes her tears and looks up at me "I guess…" I smile back at her.

"Come on, we've still got a long way to go."

"Good, you could use the exercise." She laughs.

"Hardy har har!"

So together, Olivia and I venture further into the sewers, wiping muck off our leaves, sharing horrible jokes and, for once, everything is right with our sad, unfair and frustrating world.

 **Authors note: Hey guys! I'm back. I just wanted to use this A/N to explain the other story to those of you who have visited my profile. That story was a stupid dare that was never meant to be seen. Please pay it no attention. Thanks for listening and I will see you, my annoying tricksters, in the next chapter. Buh-Bye!**

 **P.S. We're so close to 100 views! Come on guys, I know we can do it!**


	9. Chapter 9: Deal?

As venture further into the sewers, Olivia starts asking questions. "So, what are YOU doing here?" she asks. Then I sort of stared forward, not really knowing what to say. I mean, how was I supposed to tell my story without sounding like a total loser? All my friends were fake and they didn't think I was strong, so I went on this ridiculous journey to find the golden fertilizer? Yeah, real easy. "I was…uhm…dared by my friend to find the golden fertilizer."

"Are you sure? You don't sound very convincing" she says. Sweat starts to drop off my face "Mmmhm" I answer, avoiding eye contact. Olivia looks at me like I'm crazy "Alright…I'm hungry anyway, is there a place to eat around here?" I don't blame her, we've been down here for hours with nothing to eat. "I'm not sure…but look! That stand might have something." I point towards a stand ahead of us "Good idea! Let's just hope it's a food stand and not one of those weird eyebrow plucking stations"

After a lot of running we finally reached the stand "There's no one here…" Olivia says "Good job captain obvious." I laugh as she kicks me in the shin.

"Uh…hello? Anyone here?" I yell out.

"Hm, who goes there?" says a mystery voice. Olivia and I jump back. A gnome wearing a purple suit and a golden briefcase. "If you're gonna be here, yelling at me, ye best mean business!" Me and Olivia look at each other.

"Uhhh, me and my friend here were pretty hungry so we were wondering if you had any food here?" I say. The old man smiles

"Just call me Rux, and it happens to be your lucky day cause I just received a shipment of gnome nummies!" Rux pulls out 2 biscuit looking objects. Me and Olivia pounce on them like a couple of wolves. "Thank you, Rux!" Olivia says, I'm too busy chewing to say anything. "So…what brings 2 mighty fine plants like yourselves into a sewer like this?"

"Well, we're trying to find the golden fertilizer, speaking of which!" I say as I pull out the map on my phone "Do you happen to know where toxic tavern is?" He scratches the top of his head for a second then smiles "Yeah, I know, it's just through that door, and here! I'll even give you my golden briefcase!"

"Well, that's really kind of you, Rux!" I say

"Trust me, you'll need it" He says. Olivia and I finish off what I guess were our gnome nummies and head off. "So long, brave travellers! I'll be praying for you!"

"Thanks Rux!" we say simultaneously. The last thing I hear before we leave is Rux's laugh, and just like that, we're gone. "Those two are gonna get crushed in a second" Rux mutters.

 **Authors note: Hello, everybody! Welcome to the next chapter of the story. Hope you enjoyed the guest appearance from Rux! Plus I've got a big surprise for you guys…but I'll keep you on edge! Tee-hee. I will say that we got 30 views in 1 CHAPTER. That's our highest number yet. Not much else I can say without ruining the secret so I'll see you, my annoying tricksters, in the next chapter! Buh-Bye!**


	10. Chapter 10: Tavern troubles

"So…this is the toxic tavern? Not what I was expecting." It didn't match up my expectations either. "When I heard toxic tavern I thought it would be some fancy lounge where we can relax! Not some run down bar" I say.

"Well, on the bright side, at least we can get a drink." We walk in and are amazed at how green everything is. Green walls, green chairs, green PLANTS and they all had some sort of glow to them. Olivia and I sit next to this unconscious toxic pea who obviously had way too much to drink. A toxic citron comes up to us "What do ya want?" he asks. He had a rough voice, but I guess everyone did in this part of suburbia "Uhm, I'll just have water" I say

"Weed repellent, black" says Olivia. The toxic citron and I look at her "Wouldn't that kill you?" I ask. She shrugs

"I love the taste!" The toxic citron sighs and yells out to the back of the bar "WILLIAM! DID YOU HEAR THAT?! WATER AND WEED REPELLANT, BLACK!"

"Y-yes sir" says a rather frail looking toxic pear carrying 2 cups.

"H-here's your weed repellent and here's your w-" As he hands me my water -he spills it on me "O-oh my I-I'm terribly sorry" he says

"That's fine, I wasn't thirsty anyway"

"Uuuhhh, this weed repellent is green" complains Olivia.

"Oh no, I-I'll go get you a new order" William says as he walks back into the kitchen. "Hey B, ask this guy where we go next" suggests Olivia.

"Good idea! Uh, sir?" I ask the barkeeper

"What do you want now?" he asks, sounding mad

"We were just wondering if you could tell us the location of the ice caves?"

"Why do y'need to know that?"

"Cause we're looking for the golden fertilizer" I say. Then I hear a door slam

"THE GOLDEN FERTILIZER?" someone yells out, then I turn around and see who it was. Then I know it's about to get real.

Captain squawk, notorious for taming birds and using them for guns. He also had a bad reputation for killing plants with the excuse "I was in the mood."

The druid rose and toxic chomper playing cards put them down. The bandit cactus playing the piano stops, and William drops our drinks. Captain squawk walks up to where we're sitting and steals the unconscious toxic pea's drink. Then he looks at what Olivia is drinking "Weed repellent…don't y'know that stuff will get you killed?" he says

"Well, maybe I got a death wish, pal" she says, staring him in the eye. They stare at each other for a while until Captain squawk says "Wish granted" through gritted teeth. He pulls out his bird gun and aims it at her. Olivia grabs me and pulls me under. The bandit cactus starts shooting, the druid rose and chomper are beating each other up and the barkeep and Captain squawk are shooting each other. "Oh dear…" says William.

 **Authors note: Hey guys, I'm back! With another chapter in a different location! (Finally) Some good news! The secret I was hiding from you will be revealed in the next chapter, you'll see ;) Not much else to say so I'll see you, my annoying tricksters, in the next chapter! Buh-Bye!**


	11. Thank you!

**Hey guys! It's me thatannoyingguy again. Here to reveal the big secret! Ok, are you ready for this? We hit, drumroll, please!** **100 VIEWS!** **Can you believe it? This is so amazing! I'd like to thank some people. I'd like to thank timeman63 for inspiring me to write these stories, I definitely recommend viewing some of his stories! I'd like to thank the actual fanfiction website for giving wanna-be writers like me an opportunity to do what we love most! But most of all, I'd like to thank you, my viewers, for reading and enjoying my story! I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. So I want to personally thank you from the bottom of my heart. Sorry if this chapter was short but I just thought I'd take some time for us to celebrate this together! So somebody bring the snacks, somebody bring the piñata! Cause we are having a party up in here! No, but seriously, thank you, every single one of you, and I'll see you, my AMAZING tricksters, in the next chapter! Buh-Bye!**


	12. Chapter 12: A tale of 3 plants

Olivia leads me through the jungle of chairs that she has dragged me into. "Where are we supposed to go now?" I ask.

"SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE GUN SHOTS!" she yells.

"I SAID, WHERE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GO NOW?!"  
"ANYWHERE BUT HERE." As she says this she points toward the exit. We make a run, well, a "crawl" for it but the exit is quickly blocked by the dead body of the bandit cactus. I think I vomited in my mouth a little bit as well. "WE'RE TRAPPED!" Olivia yells. We look around and see the mess we left behind. The barkeep is dead, like the bandit cactus. The druid rose and toxic chomper knocked each other out, William is nowhere to be seen and the only one left standing is Captain squawk. "Your next! Pathetic plants!" he yells as he pulls out his gun.

"WOAH, WOAH, WOAH! Hold on!" I yell.

"Why should I?" He asks. I look around the tavern for a while until I find what I'm looking for "Because your aim is terrible! Even if you try to shoot us, you'll miss!" I say.

"What are you doing?!" Olivia screams at me.

"Don't worry, I have a plan" I say to her. Captain squawk's eye begins to twitch in anger "WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE?"

"Alright, prove to me you're not a terrible shot and snipe the druid rose's mask!" he looks at the druid rose's mask.

"That's too easy!" he laughs.

"Are you sure? Or are you too chicken?" I taunt, making chicken noises.

"Alright, alright!" he gives in. He aims his gun at the mask and pulls the trigger and as soon as the bullet hit the mask, it caught fire. By the time he realised he'd been tricked, Olivia and I have already ran out the door.

As Olivia and I start walking away from the burning pile of ash that used to be the toxic tavern, Olivia starts to speak up. "Nice thinking back there! How'd you know the mask was gonna catch fire?" I pull out a book.

"Easy! I read it from this book that was in the brief case! Flammable objects for dummies by Don Dee!" I answer.

"Huh, so I guess that brief case came in handy after all!" Olivia says.

"Yeah…I guess it did!" I say. Thats when I realised the brief case was shaking, and Olivia noticed it to "Why is it shaking?" she asks.

"I dunno" I say. I start open the brief case and something big comes falling out. "William?!" I yell.

"Oh, dear" he says. "I'm terribly sorry." Olivia and I stare at him in shock

"What are you doing here?! Get out!" Olivia yells.

"Please don't make me go! Without that tavern I've got nowhere to go!" he begs "I don't care! Get outta here!" she yells.

"Now, hold on, Olivia" I say. "Let's give him a chance, he could be helpful!"

"Grunt, fine!" That's the thing about Olivia, you bring up a good point and she'll be on your side. "Thank you so, so much!" he says.

"Ok William, if you can help us find the ice caves, we'll let you come with us, alright?"

"Will do!" And just like that, we were back on our journey, like nothing ever happened. It was weird like that, how we witnessed murders and murdered, yet we just kept on walking, not that I'm complaining. I guess one day, when this is over, we'll all laugh about it, but at that moment, there was nothing to laugh about. Especially when it got dark…

 **Authors note: Hey guys! I'm back! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, it was a pretty long one! I just wanted to let you guys know that school is starting up again soon, so I won't be able to upload as often. But don't worry! I'm not going anywhere, heh heh! Not much else to say so I'll see you, my annoying tricksters, on the next chapter! Buh-Bye!**


	13. Chapter 13:Camping blues

I look up and see the moon smack in the middle of the sky. "Guys, it's getting late, we should probably set up camp" I say.

"Yeah…my roots are starting to hurt" Olivia replies. I look over at William and see he's already passed out on the floor. "Alright, set up the tent" I say.

"B?" Olivia says

"Yeah?"

"We didn't pack a tent". Right, cause I remembered to bring my favourite cereal and favourite tie but can't remember to bring any survival equipment. "Uhm…well" I start looking around for anything to help us.

"I guess we could…check the briefcase" I say. I open up the briefcase and start foraging for some sort of tent "I don't think you can fit an entire tent in a briefcase" she remarks. "Let alone an old gnome like Rux". I keep on looking "Well, William was able to fit in there so something must be…huh, what'd you know" I say. Then I pull out a self-building tent, a camping guide, and a packet of sausages. "Well, damn" Olivia smiles. I laugh and read the instructions for the tent "Put tent on ground and it'll do the rest itself…" I throw the tent on the ground but nothing happens. "Huh…it says right here it should work!" I yell

"It's a fake, B" Olivia says, pointing out the obvious. I start poking at the tent with a stick "Work you stupid thing, work!" I'm really getting frustrated now.

"B, calm down! It's just a tent" Olivia says. I start jumping on it

"Why…won't…you…work!" I keep jumping and jumping, then I feel the tent shake below me and before you know it the tent is starting to set up "W-W-Woah!" I stutter. Before I know it I'm on the roof of the tent. I look down and Olivia's looking at me like _Really?_ "Let's just roast those sausages" I mumble.

After a lot of twig searching and confusion, we finally get a steady fire going. "Oh man…these sausages are going to be good!" Olivia claims.

"I just burnt mine…" I wallow. I look over at William sleeping on a log and see his nose twitch. Then he's wide awake "Do I smell sausage?" he asks.

"Yeah, you want it?" I ask. He nods like crazy as I throw my burnt sausage into his mouth. "Deeeeeelicious!" he remarks. Olivia finishes chewing her sausage and then speaks to William "So, from here, which way to you think the ice caves are and how far?" he licks his thumb and sticks it in the air.

"About 4 miles that way" he says, pointing south.

"Welp, that's where we're headed, but for now, let's get some shut eye" I say.

"Yeah alright, but the tent can only fit 2 plants" Olivia points out.

"Oh, I'll sleep outside, I don't mind" William offers. Olivia and I look at him weirdly. "Alright then, good night, William" I say.

"Good night!" he replies. Olivia and I enter the tent and lie down.

"Good night , Olivia" I say. She yawns

"Good night" I hear her say, then her snoring. I lay on my side and stare at the wall of the tent of a little while. "Wonder if I'll have a lucid dream tonight…" I wonder, then I drift off to sleep and into the magical world of dreams.

 **Authors note: Hey guys, hope you enjoyed the chapter. I just wanted to use this note to inform you guys that school has recently started back up so I won't be able to post as often. But don't worry! I'm not going anywhere. Just wanted to catch you guys up. Thanks for viewing and I'll see you, my annoying tricksters, in the next chapter. Buh-Bye!**


	14. Chapter 14: Dream your dream

I yawn and stretch my leaves, breathing in the fresh smell of…candy? That's odd, last thing I remember, I was in the middle of the forest. I get up and look around. "Oh great, I've been drugged" I say as I see the fluoro green wall of the tent. I push my leaf against it and discover it's as soft as cotton candy. "This must be a dream…" I say, pushing my leaf further into the tent wall. I need proof though, I can't just make assumptions. I start pulling at my stem and see it's as flexible as string. "I'm in a dream!" I yell as I run around the tent. My emotion has quickly changed from confusion to glee! I can do whatever I want! I spend the next 10 minutes using my dream powers and giggling gleefully, until I get bored. "Paradise isn't fun when you're on your own…" I mumble to myself. I sit back down in my sleeping bag, which I may have turned to bacon. I look to my side and remember Olivia. "Olivia!" I yell at her "Olivia!" Still nothing. "Uh…Olivia?" I'm scared now, but I find the courage to move my leaf over to her shoulder. As soon as my leaf makes contact with her shoulder she turns around to reveal that it's not Olivia, but the playful face of Freak. "AH!" I scream, startled. Olivia, I mean…Freak. Which one is it? Whatever, I suppose… Frolivia starts running at me, looking for a belly rub. "Shoo!" I scream at it. We start playing a game of ring-a-round-a-rosey until I finally tire Frolivia out. Seeing my advantage, I run out the tent, and into total mayhem.

Bird-deer, living tacos, flying gnomes! Pretty much everything you can think of is in that forest of freaks. "My imagination sure is strange" I say to myself as I stroll through. Again, after a while my emotions change from confusion to excitement as I start basking in the magical environment. Petting the bird-deer, tasting living tacos, this is the life! After a while of frolicking and mischief I start to notice differences in the forest "I must be on the bad side of town…" I assume. The trees start to die, the animals turn to ghouls and the ground below me is absolutely covered with some sort of black substance. In the distance, I see a purple cloak. "M?" I ask. "Yes, it's me" he says in that unforgettable voice of his. "Surely, you jest" I say, my vocabulary seeming to be expanded in this dream world. "Me? Joke? Never! Just come over here and we can have a nice, long talk" he suggests. I start walking faster, before coming to a halt "How do I know this is you?" I say, aware of what we like to call in law terms stranger danger. "The last thing you said to me was I'LL SHOW YOU, I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!" Surprised, I start walking again. "Yes, yes! Come closer and I'll consider coming with you on your journey! I've always wanted to search for the golden fertilizer!" I smile before stopping to a halt once again "But you always thought the golden fertilizer was complete crap!" He looks at me for a second, lost for words "Yes, but now that you have interest in it, I find it very fascinating!" he answers. "But what about all those things you said about me?"

"Oh…those? I was just joking!" I stare at him for a little while longer.

"You just said you never joke…" I say. I must've struck a nerve because all he did then was just stare at me, saying unaudible nonsense. I sigh.

"Speechless, huh? Just as I expected, I'm going back to the tent" I start walking back. "Oh, no you don't!" M growls at me before growing two tentacles out of his back and making them grab me. "Let me go!" I beg, struggling to break his grip. M laughs maniacally as he pulls me in, and I am consumed by the darkness.

 **Authors note: Hello everybody! Sorry it's been a while. Since last time I've received some reviews from a fellow fanfiction user (Who've I've decided to keep anonymous on account of privacy) who gave me a good lesson in grammar, plot, all that kind of stuff. I have tried to fix some of those problems while keeping to the idea I had for this chapter and maybe, just maybe, I made only a couple of mistakes!**

…

 **Eh, I probably made tons =P**

 **See you guys next time!**


	15. Chapter 15: A key artifact

I wake up with a start. What a weird dream, almost metaphorical. I look to my side. Tent walls are back to normal, Olivia isn't my pet. Yep, everything's normal. I lie back down in my sleeping bag, unable to sleep, until I smell…eggs? That's weird, and mouth-watering! I start poking Olivia's shoulder and "Wake up! I smell breakfast!" I tell her. She responds with a couple tired groans "Too tired…" I end up having to drag her out of the tent. For a weed, she sure is stubborn. Outside there aren't any bird-deer, flying gnomes or living tacos, which is a bit disappointing. The only things out there are a couple trees, a regular bird and William leaning over an open fire. "Good morning!" He says. "Morning…" I mumble, my eyes adjusting to the light. "Want some breakfast?" he asks. I nod and he hands me a couple fried eggs on a wood platter. I leave a plate in front of Olivia and as soon as the she opens her eyes and sees the eggs, she's on them like a wolf on a deer. "How'd you learn to do all this?" I ask William. "I got a book from the briefcase, survival tips for mentally challenged plants"

"Okay, then how'd you get these eggs then?" I ask.

"Stole them from a bird" he answers. I nod and keep eating my eggs. After a while, Olivia speaks up "Uhm…B?" she asks.

"Yeah?"

"Take a look at this…" She gives me a weird looking map, seeming to come from the briefcase "This is a map to the golden fertilizer…" I realise.

"Mm-hm…" she says.

"This is great! Our trip will be so much easier now!" I say.

William isn't far behind and soon enough, we're both dancing around the fire.

"No, you imbeciles!" Olivia yells at us "Look what it says next to the toxic tavern" she says as she hands me the map. I see what it says near the toxic tavern and immediately darken "Oh no!"

"How could this happen!" I yell, stomping around.

"What is it?" William asks me. I calm down enough to answer his question "Back at the toxic tavern, we were supposed to pick up some sort of key! We're supposed to pick up something at EVERY stop!"

I keep yelling like a mongoose with rabies "B?" says William, who I can't hear over my rage "We can't even go back! We blew the entire place up!" I yell.

"B?" William repeats.

"What did I ever do to deserve this?!" I yell as I kick a tree, stubbing my toe and making me hop around on one leaf. "B!" William's sudden raise of voice startles me and makes me stop. "I have the key here" he says, pulling a key out of his mask. I jump in excitement, but then turn sceptical "How do you know it's the right one?" I ask.

"Because I specifically remember toxic citron giving this to me when I first started working there…I think it was an employee of the month reward" he explains. "Congratulations on winning employee of the month!" says Olivia.

"May I remind you that I was also the ONLY employee at the toxic tavern" he says. "I was just trying to be nice…" mumbles Olivia. I run over and hug William

"William, you genius! You've just saved the entire journey!" I tell him. As I let him go he bows and Olivia and I chuckle. I look up at the sky and see the sun is already halfway through the sky. "Crap! Come on guys! We need to go!" I say, folding up the tent and putting it back in the briefcase. "Go where?" Olivia asks. "Are you kidding?" I say. "Put out that fire and pick up your stuff! Ice caves, here we come!"

 **Authors note: Hello everyone! It's me again. I just wanted to let you guys know that I've done away with the whole 10 views until the next chapter rule I made up. I've decided to do so because sometimes I feel like I get a ton of views and end up rushing a couple chapters, or I'm taking a while to get views and you all waiting for ages to get the next chapter. Also, for those of you confused, William is a toxic pea so the mask I mention is the one he has in GW1 and GW2. Not much else to say, so I'll see you, my tricksters, in the next chapter! Buh-Bye!**

 **P.S. Thanks for 200 views!**


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